Wienermobiles, elephant seals and mountains of maggoty acorns
Mishaps and mayhem from around the region.
CALIFORNIA
When a pesky pest problem is percolating in your home, who ya gonna call? One worried homeowner in Glen Ellen, California, asked Nick’s Extreme Pest Control to have a look-see after, um, finding “maggots and mealworms emerging from the wall.” Yikes. When Nick Castro, the pest control technician, took the call, he thought it was just an average, everyday pest problem, maybe your average dead rodent rotting inside your everyday wall. Instead, he found something completely unexpected, something “he’d never seen in more than 20 years in the business,” according to the Washington Post. What could possibly be more surprising than maggots and mealworms? Well, when Castro cut a hole in the wall of the second-floor bedroom, a fantabulous flood of acorns spilled out like a slot machine’s jackpot of nickels. An extremely obsessive woodpecker had cached some “tens of thousands of acorns,” weighing “roughly 700 pounds,” a unit of measurement technically known as a “sh*t-ton.” The pest control company posted photos of the mountain of acorns on Facebook, where it racked up hundreds of views. Castro said “the pile stood about 20 feet high” and “filled eight garbage bags.” And this, boys and girls, illustrates what we mean by bird-brained behavior.
OREGON
The Coast Guard deployed a helicopter and swimmer to rescue a British Columbia fugitive after the yacht he’d stolen capsized in choppy water near the aptly named Cape Disappointment, the Astorian reported. Jericho Labonte was taken to an Astoria hospital and released a few hours later. The police arrested him that evening for “theft in the first degree, endangering another person, criminal mischief in the second degree and unauthorized use of a vehicle.” Labonte, who clearly needs a new hobby, was also identified as the guy who, earlier that week, left a dead fish on the porch of the notorious house where The Goonies was filmed.
NEVADA
The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, one of six hotdog-shaped vehicles touring America, fell victim to catalytic converter bandits during a publicity stopover in Las Vegas. 8newsnow reported that Corn Dog Clara and “Chad”dar Cheese, the Wienermobile’s road crew, knew something was amiss when the 27-foot motorized frankfurter refused to start before a promotional event. It was towed to a Penske Truck Rental, where mechanics got it running by installing a “temporary” catalytic converter. Joseph Rodriguez, the shop’s parts administrator — who had never seen a giant sausage truck before, let alone in the middle of a repair bay — said the permanent part may take a couple of months to get. Catalytic converter thefts are a problem, and not just for Wienermobiles. The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department said that “more than 2,600 catalytic converters thefts were reported to Metro in 2022, up from 1,894 the previous year, a 72% increase.” We mustard up the energy to ketchup with this story, even though we think it’s a lot of baloney.
WASHINGTON
Humans aren’t the only beings prone to terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days; Pacific elephant seals apparently have their share. The Whidbey News-Times reported that a 2,000-pound elephant seal seemed a bit “cranky” after it killed a harbor seal and dragged the body to shore for its supper. Jan Skewes — the photographer who snapped amazing images of the predator and its prey — said that the elephant seal “threw his head back and roared triumphantly, exposing his formidable teeth.” Well, we all get hangry sometimes. Let’s hope his mood improved after supper.
IDAHO
Some children’s books take place in epic imaginary worlds like Narnia or Hogwarts. Others inspire young minds with heroic adventures and acts of courage. But books like “Why Everyone Needs an AR-15: A Guide for Kids” and “Why is Feminism So Silly: A Guide for Kids” — really? Can they possibly be intended for … actual kids? Indeed they can, at least according to the man behind the pen, Idaho state Sen. Brian Lenney of Nampa. Sen. Lenney, who is serving his first term, is a self-described “political refugee” from California who moved to Idaho in 2010. Both his books were self-published in 2018. What will you learn from what the author calls his “super fun” volume, “Why Everyone Needs an AR-15”? We’re glad you asked, because the Idaho Press has thoughtfully shared Lenney’s blurb: “We’ll walk you through how awesome the AR-15 is, how it can be used for good, and why the Gun Grabbing Lefties should focus on something more productive.” Lenney clearly loves his AR-15: “It’s like a LEGO toy for adults!”
Tiffany Midge is a citizen of the Standing Rock Nation and was raised by wolves in the Pacific Northwest. Her book, Bury My Heart at Chuck E. Cheese’s (Bison Books, 2019), was a Washington State Book Award nominee. She resides in north-central Idaho near the Columbia River Plateau, homeland of the Nimiipuu.
Tips of Western oddities are appreciated and often shared in this column. Write [email protected], or submit a letter to the editor.
