$300 fine for tracking mud on streets, dress codes for sheriffs, and more.

Mishaps and mayhem from around the region.

  • UTAH Keep your money, stay clean.

    Greg Woodall
 

NEVADA
A “firearms tourist attraction” just a shuttle ride away from the Las Vegas Strip ginned up a novel promotion for Valentine’s Day, reports the Las Vegas Review-Journal. Machine Guns Vegas invited newly divorced women to stop sobbing over their wedding gowns and “have fun shooting up the dress with an M1919 Browning machine gun.” The gun frequently stars in shoot-’em-up movies because it fires a brisk 400-600 rounds per minute. Men are also welcome to try the $499 “Just Divorced” package, which encourages the recently uncoupled to shoot any marriage-related item of their choice — excluding any photos of recently shed partners. “They’re not allowed to shoot a picture,” said the business owner, who rejoices in the name Genghis Cohen. “They can do it privately, but if a nut job shoots a husband or wife … we don’t want to be involved in a lawsuit.” Cohen anticipates success because he’s done the math: About 315 couples get hitched in Las Vegas every day, but national statistics indicate that about half of those marriages will flop. That adds up to thousands of heartbroken lovers who might need to soothe their pain by blasting faded bridal bouquets or worn-once bowties and cummerbunds into eternity. Not that Machine Guns Vegas lacks a sense of romance: It also hosts weddings. “We facilitate all levels of love here,” says Cohen. 

COLORADO
Speaking of jaundiced views of marriage, the weekly Ouray Plaindealer shared a sly remark from Nov. 12, 1909: “A girl is always petted and fussed over before she is to be married, much like we give a Thanksgiving turkey care just before the slaughter.”

ARIZONA
The Waste Management Phoenix Open unfortunately failed to manage its own waste recently: Fans of the PGA tour had to step carefully to avoid “puddles of raw human waste when a row of Crowd Pleaser port-o-potties overflowed,” reports The Week magazine.

COLORADO
Chuck Koehler was hiking in the Garden of the Gods near Colorado Springs on a windless, quiet day after a fresh snowfall. Suddenly, he told the Independent weekly, a drone with four propellers appeared, flashing red and green lights and hovering just 12 feet above his head. Koehler considered picking up a rock and beaning it. But he refrained, although he considered a noviolent alternative, one that raises a legal (and perhaps philosophical) question: “If a man is alone deep in the woods and a drone approaches — and he moons the drone — is this public indecency?”

MONTANA
Ah, indecency: Missoula knows something about that. Last August, 200 mostly naked bicyclists rolled through the city as part of a Dare to be Bare event, celebrating the right of bicyclists of all types of body shapes and attire (or lack of it) to share the roads. If you saw video of the bikers on their tiny seats, you probably thought: That looks really uncomfortable.- Participants seemed to have had a good time, but some observers were incensed, including David Moore, a Republican state lawmaker who clearly never wants to see a biker in a thong again. Moore recently introduced a bill that would expand the state’s indecent exposure law to prohibit “any nipple exposure, including men’s,” as well as any garment that “gives the appearance or simulates” any part of a person’s nether region, reports the Billings Gazette. That wouldn’t include yoga pants, but Moore believes “should be illegal in public anyway.” The bill, which the Legislature killed in mid-February, was written with the help of retired professor Walt Hill, who explained, “I want Montana to be known as a decent state where people can live within the security of laws and protect their children and associates from degrading and indecent practices.”

WYOMING
What should a Sublette County deputy sheriff wear on the job? Western attire, of course, especially since the county includes Pinedale, which True West magazine recently designated “a true” Western town, reports The Associated Press. Not so fast, partner: Sheriff Stephen Haskell has introduced a dress code requiring deputies to wear black boots, a black ball cap, and black trousers and tan shirt. This did not sit well with Deputy Gene Bryson, who said, “I’ve had a cowboy hat on since 19 — I don’t know. That’s what looks good to me in the sheriff’s department. It’s Western. It’s Wyoming.” Bryson retired after 28 years with the department.

OREGON
The mysterious war between joggers and owls has heated up in and around Salem’s Bush Pasture Park. In the fourth “angry owl” attack since January, a bird plucked Brad Hilliard’s sweat-stained hat off his head, scratching his neck in the process, reports AP. It was identified as a barred owl, a tough species that’s been causing trouble for endangered spotted owls as well as joggers. The federal government is now killing thousands of barred owls in an attempt to give their spotted kin some relief.

High Country News Classifieds
  • ADOBE HOME
    Passive solar adobe home in high desert of central New Mexico. Located on a 10,000 acre cattle ranch.
  • EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
    Western Slope Conservation Center Paonia, CO WSCC seeks a dynamic leader who is mission-driven, hardworking and a creative problem-solver. Position Summary: The Executive Director leads...
  • ARIZONA STATE DIRECTOR
    A LITTLE ABOUT US Founded in 1951, the Nature Conservancy is a global conservation organization dedicated to conserving the lands and waters on which all...
  • CONSERVATION MANAGEMENT/HOSPITALITY SERVICES
    Seasoned ranch manager of award-winning conservation ranch seeking position as nature reserve/resort or ranch manager. Visit philipmoonwalker.com for resume and certifications. Contact: [email protected]
  • PART-TIME OREGON GRANT WRITER
    Help advance rights for people, communities, and nature - Part-time grant writer. The Oregon Community Rights Network (ORCRN) has been active over the last six...
  • UTAH PUBLIC LANDS PROGRAM DIRECTOR
    Job Title: Utah Public Lands Program Director Location: Southern Utah Position: Full Time (40 hours per week) Supervisor: Conservation Director About us: The Grand Canyon...
  • FSBO PROPERTY-SOUTHEAST ARIZONA
    Located in an area steeped in history, this gentleman's ranch sits at the entrance to the renowned Cave Creek Canyon. Enjoy picturesque views of the...
  • EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
    Eastern Nevada Landscape Coalition, based in Ely, Nevada is looking for a new executive director to replace the long-time executive director who is retiring at...
  • LAND CONSERVATION PROJECT MANAGER
    JOIN OUR TEAM! The New Mexico Land Conservancy in Santa Fe is seeking a Land Conservation Project Manager who will work to protect land and...
  • HOME NEAR CAPITOL REEF NP
    Comfortable home at foot of Boulder Mountain, on one fenced acre. Amazing views!
  • STEVE HARRIS, EXPERIENCED PUBLIC LANDS/ENVIRONMENTAL ATTORNEY
    Comment Letters - Admin Appeals - Federal & State Litigation - FOIA -
  • LISA MACKEY PHOTOGRAPHY
    Fine Art Gicle Printing. Photo papers, fine art papers, canvas. Widths up to 44". Art printing by an artist.
  • LOG HOME IN THE GILA WILDERNESS
    Beautiful hand built log home in the heart of the Gila Wilderness on five acres. Please email for PDF of pictures and a full description.
  • NEW MEXICO PROPERTY - SILVER CITY
    20 acres, $80,000. Owner financing, well, driveway, fencing possible, very private, sensible covenants, broker owned. Contact - 575-534-7955 or [email protected]
  • SECLUDED COLORADO HIDEAWAY
    This passive solar home sits on 2 lots and offers an abundance of privacy and views while being only 15 minutes to downtown Buena Vista....
  • CARETAKER
    2.0 acre homestead needing year-round caretaker in NE Oregon. Contact [email protected] for details.
  • SEEKING PROPERTY FOR BISON HERD
    Seeking additional properties for a herd of 1,000 AUM minimum. Interested in partnering with landowners looking to engage in commercial and/or conservation bison ranching. Location...
  • COPPER STAIN: ASARCO'S LEGACY IN EL PASO
    Tales from scores of ex-employees unearth the human costs of an economy that runs on copper.
  • EXPERT LAND STEWART
    Available for site conservator, property manager. View resume at http://skills.ojadigital.net.
  • CONSERVATIONIST? IRRIGABLE LAND?
    Stellar seed-saving NGO is available to serious partner. Package must include financial support. Details: http://seeds.ojaidigital.net.