Wolf provokes inadvertent howlers

  • Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood by painter Gustave Dore (183

    883)
 

Never before have so many citizens had so much to say about a federal project: bringing wolves back to Yellowstone National Park and central Idaho later this fall.

By the time comment-taking ended this year on an environmental impact statement about the plan, 160,264 people had put their opinions on paper. Reactions were generally strident, convincing federal officials that misunderstanding was rampant about the gray wolf and its place as a predator in the Northern Rockies. A sample of the most pointed - and inadvertently humorous - comments:

* "I strongly believe that we, as humans, need to put nature back in its place."

* "Since I don't have any facts on wolves, this is strictly opinion."

* "I've had my face kissed by wolves. They have a loving social structure."

* "Wolves don't pay taxes."

* "I think they are a beautiful animal. I shot one in British Columbia and had it mounted, and I have it in my home. I enjoy looking at it every day."

* "We have destroyed our environment. I can't believe people have overlooked this."

* "It's a little bit like allowing gays into the military, but not if they admit they're gay. Allow wolves into Yellowstone, but only if they don't behave like wolves."

* "Wolves do not kill people. Fatty beef does."

* "Fears about wolves are stereotypes, and they belong in Yellowstone."

* "Only a brain-dead son-of-a-bitch would favor reintroduction of wolves."

* "Only a fool would not agree to the placement of this beautiful and essential animal."

* "It's like, it's like inviting the AIDS virus."

* "Wolves tend to eat the most vulnerable animals, which are typically the very young, old or weekend animals."

* "Why don't we first test the wolf in the wilderness of Washington, D.C., before we put it near unarmed tourists?"

* "Our pigs got rabies and howled like wolves."

* "I don't like it because I don't think the wolves should be moved involuntarily. Right now, the wolves are comfortable where they are."

* "Wolves don't help feed and water the livestock and they don't help raise food for people to eat so what good are they?"

* "Everyone knows the Big Bad Wolf is worse than the Three Bears."

* "We see this creature as a symbol of emerging sexuality, as in Elle a vu le loup (She has seen the wolf)."

* "There are too many misconsumptions about wolves."

* "When did God and Mother Nature die and turn everything over to EIS and EPA?"

* "My forefathers suffered mercilessly at the hands of the wolf."

* "Environmentalists: They can piss a person off."

* "I lived with wolves for three years. If these Bunny Huggers think they are going to stand still while they take their pictures, they are out of their minds!!"

* "If cattle weren't so slow and stupid, maybe a wolf wouldn't see a free meal. And so ranchers' arguments in this shouldn't be addressed."

* "Will it be legal to eat wolves when we run out of cattle?"

* "Buy land out East for reintroduction of wolves. Then listen to the howling."

* "I've known timber fellers to come in before noon, because a pack of wolves was sitting in a big circle around them laughing at them, like any dog does."

* "I've killed several wolves. I'd have killed more if I got my way. I've even run over them with my truck."

* "Most endangered animals make too much money to be delisted."

Sherry Devlin is an environmental reporter for the Missoulian in Missoula, Montana.

High Country News Classifieds
  • GRAND CANYON DIRECTOR
    The Grand Canyon director, with the Grand Canyon manager, conservation director, and other staff, envisions, prioritizes, and implements strategies for the Grand Canyon Trust's work...
  • ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT
    Great Old Broads for Wilderness seeks a part-time Administrative Assistant to support the organization's general operations. This includes phone and email communications, office correspondence and...
  • HISTORIC LODGE AND RESTAURANT - FULLY EQUIPPED
    Built in 1901, The Crazy Mountain Inn has 11 guest rooms in a town-center building on 7 city lots (.58 acres). The inn and restaurant...
  • ONE WILL: THREE WIVES
    by Edith Tarbescu. "One Will: Three Wives" is packed with a large array of interesting suspects, all of whom could be a murderer ... a...
  • PROGRAM DIRECTOR, SALAZAR CENTER FOR NORTH AMERICAN CONSERVATION
    The Program Director will oversee the programmatic initiatives of The Salazar Center, working closely with the Center's Director and staff to engage the world's leading...
  • WILDEARTH GUARDIANS - WILD PLACES PROGRAM DIRECTOR
    Salary Range: $70,000-$80,000. Location: Denver, CO, Portland, OR, Seattle, WA, Missoula, MT or potentially elsewhere for the right person. Application Review: on a rolling basis....
  • RIVER EDUCATOR/GUIDE + TRIP LEADER
    Position Description: Full-time seasonal positions (mid-March through October) Organizational Background: Colorado Canyons Association (CCA) is a 10 year old nonprofit organization fostering community stewardship of...
  • BOOKKEEPER/ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT
    Position Description: Part-time, year-round bookkeeping and administration position (12 - 16 hours/week) $16 - $18/hour DOE Organizational Background: Colorado Canyons Association (CCA) is a 10...
  • LAND STEWARD
    San Isabel Land Protection Trust seeks a full-time Land Steward to manage and oversee its conservation easement monitoring and stewardship program for 42,437 acres in...
  • EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
    Ventana Wilderness Alliance is seeking an experienced forward-facing public land conservation leader to serve as its Executive Director. The mission of the Ventana Wilderness Alliance...
  • COMMUNICATIONS AND DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR
    The Quivira Coalition (www.quiviracoaltion.org) is a Santa Fe-based nonprofit that builds resilience on arid working lands. We foster ecological, economic, and social health through education,...
  • GRANT WRITER
    "We all love this place we call Montana. We believe that land and water and air are not ours to despoil, but ours to steward...
  • DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR
    The Development Director is responsible for organizing and launching a coherent set of development activities to build support for the Natural History Institute's programs and...
  • WILDLIFE PROJECT COORDINATOR
    Founded in 1936, the National Wildlife Federation (NWF or Federation) is America's largest and most trusted grassroots conservation organization with 53 state/territorial affiliates and more...
  • EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
    The Cinnabar Foundation helps protect and conserve water, wildlife and wild lands in Montana and the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem by supporting organizations and people who...
  • TRUSTEE AND PHILANTHROPY RELATIONS MANGER,
    Come experience Work You Can Believe In! The Nature Conservancy in Alaska is seeking a Trustee and Philanthropy Relations Manager. This position is critical to...
  • EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR AT FRIENDS OF CEDAR MESA
    -The Land, History, and People of the Bears Ears Region- The Bears Ears and Cedar Mesa region is one of the most beautiful, complex, diverse,...
  • CONSERVATION SPECIALIST
    Position will remain open until January 31, 2021 Join Our Team! The New Mexico Land Conservancy (NMLC) is a non-profit land trust organization dedicated to...
  • OLIVERBRANCH CONSULTING
    Non-Profit Management Professional specializing in Transitional Leadership, Strategic Collaborations, Communications and Grant Management/Writing.
  • GREAT VIEWS, SMALL FOOTPRINT
    Close to town but with a secluded feel, this eco-friendly home includes solar panels, a graywater reuse system, tankless hot water, solar tubes, and rainwater...