Good question Jim. Why do polygamists on the Utah-Arizona border live outside of the law? Because they are breaking the law. First of all, polygamy and bigamy are still offenses. Most importantly, the lifestyle and culture of the community is based on breaking the law, from the widespread abuse of the government welfare system, which they call "Bleeding the Beast," to the sexual abuse of little girls. It's OK to be gay in San Francisco or anywhere else because the gay community does not perpetrate fraud to collect food stamps, health benefits and other forms of welfare. The gay community does not participate in the sexual abuse of children (that is called pedophilia, not homosexuality, and the two do not intersect.) Polygamy was, and is, practiced in a number of cultures. The moral decision is personal, to be sure, and the activities of consenting adults should be a private matter. Human sacrifice was once also a part of religion and culture. However, does that mean because it is somebody's religious belief and it gives pleasure to some that we should, as a matter of the First Amendment, allow it in today's world? Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff has handed down a policy, instructing county attorneys not to prosecute those who practice polygamy. What has this done? It has closed the society, making it even more secretive. In effect, it allows the followers to practice polygamy at will, which translates into the belief that the State of Utah condones the actions of the followers of the FLDS church, further enabling them to engage in their illegal and immoral conduct with young girls. Cause and effect: Since nobody is watching, we can do as we wish. A new book called 'plygs' takes a look into this community. Perhaps it will enlighten your perspective.

I think comparing polygamy with being gay is incredibly offensive, and that argument cannot be used to justify polygamy. Polygamy is a lifestyle choice, one founded on many years of sexism, sexual abuse and oppression. Being gay is not a lifestyle choice--it is how many people are born. Being in a monogamist gay relationship is no different than being in a heterosexual one, so that's a moot point. Also, polygamy is rooted in religious practices, where as homosexuality is not. But as the previous commenter remarked--not all religious practices should be respected.

Polyamory is also very different from polygamy, and is no less a valid way for consenting adults to live their lives. It does not have the same sexist behavior inherent in polygamy, which continuously places women below men. There is a reason polygamy is about one man with several wives.

I suggest reading "The Ethical Slut," just because that is the polyamory text I'm most familiar with, but I know there are many other good ones that can help educate you about the dynamics and ethics of polyamory. I would also reevaluate your notion of how it is "OK to be gay in San Francisco"--it should be okay EVERYWHERE. It's 2012. This letter feels like it's from the 1800s.