Today, Bozeman; tomorrow, Billings
As a longtime Boulderite, I think Boulder residents can be justifiably proud of all the good things she mentioned without suffering "relentless enlightenment" or joining "herds of hippies nibbling ... sacrosanct vegan concoctions" or "fitness freaks with their far-too-healthy habits."
One of these days, the arts community will discover the cheap real estate only blocks away from the Montana Brewpub and Yellowstone Art Museum in Billings, and they'll turn your town into another Boulder, too. You see what's happening over in Bozeman? I'd advise you not to advertise Billings. You're next.