IDAHO
Wilderness areas were not created equal. In
order to pacify locals and win votes in Congress, most include more
than a few reminders of both the old and developed West. The Frank
Church River of No Return Wilderness in central Idaho, for example,
grandfathered in outfitters’ cabins and backcountry plane
access. Now, the Forest Service wants to allow an outfitter to add
three hot tubs at or near landing strips in the Krassel Ranger
District. The agency says clients of the outfitter could dunk in
the wood-heated, chemical-free tubs during the warm months; then
the tubs would be hauled out until next year. This doesn’t
sound like wilderness to John McCarthy, longtime staffer for the
Idaho Conservation League. "Bombs away on this dumbo idea!" he
says. "What’s next, flying solar-powered icemakers in and out
for margaritas?"
COLORADO
Never have so many argued so much about so
little. In Grand Junction, the brouhaha is over a
brand-new logo for the western Colorado town, a growing burg of
40,000. To the outrage of many readers writing to the
Daily Sentinel, the logo was designed by a
non-local at a cost of $27,000. It also doesn’t capitalize
the name of the city, leading one councilman to object because he
has a 6-year-old daughter "who is now learning to read." The local
Lions Club mocked the controversy, parading through town carrying
posters for "logos that didn’t make it." They included: "Road
closed, expect delays," "Young drivers suck!" and "Grand Junction
— 17 miles east of Fruita."
ALASKA
In a spectacular crash,
17-year-old Taylor Rounds destroyed a spanking-new $6,000
snowmobile. What’s more amazing is that he lived to
avoid talking about it, says the Anchorage Daily
News. Rounds was bent on "high-marking" the snow on the
ridge between two mountains in Chugach State Park. Fueled by
teenage testosterone, he sped upwards. What he didn’t know
was that the top was knife-edged and the other side even steeper.
Cresting the ridge at high speed, he went airborne, riding higher
and higher until gravity pulled him down the other side. His
Polaris RMK 600 snowmobile bounced and rolled, yet it avoided some
huge boulders. Rounds’ only injury was a cut on his head. As
for the snowmobile, it’s now "a heap of contorted metal,"
lying 600 feet below the ridge. Park Ranger Mike Goodwin, who
reconstructed the scary ride that Rounds doesn’t like talking
about, says it will take a helicopter to remove the wreckage.
COLORADO
Glenwood Springs
police stopped entertainer Michael Jackson after he paid a visit to
a local Wal-Mart, wearing moon boots, a baggy ski suit
and a full-face ski mask. Store employees were understandably
concerned: A 2002 robbery and murder at the store remains unsolved.
The Rocky Mountain News noted that Jackson, who
is vacationing nearby, spoke English with "a bad French accent."
MONTANA
It’s sort of
a stretch, dressing up as Jesus and protesting
meat-eating at the Columbus-area ranch of actor Mel
Gibson, producer of the new movie, The Passion of the
Christ. But that’s what Bob Chorush decided to do,
flying from Seattle to spread the word to Montanans that compassion
means not killing animals. The Billings Gazette
said Chorush got a lukewarm response to his sign "For
Christ’s sake go vegetarian," though two people flipped him a
middle-finger salute. "If three more people go by," he said,
"I’ll have a whole hand waving at me." Chorush is used to
audacious activism. A month ago he dressed as a cow and
demonstrated with the group, People for the Ethical Treatment of
Animals, in Mabton, Wash., site of the first mad cow case in this
country. "Local folks there responded by setting up a free
burger-bar right next to Chorush and other PETA supporters," says
the Gazette.
COLORADO
Weakest excuse for speeding:
"A man cited for doing 50 mph in a 35-mph zone in Dolores
explained he was ‘just trying to get to this gas station
before I ran out of gas,’ " reports the Four Corners
Free Press.
Betsy Marston is editor
of Writers on the Range, a service of High Country News in Paonia,
Colorado. Tips of Western oddities are always appreciated and often
shared in the column, Heard around the
West.
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