Weed picking

Who knew marijuana was the answer to the real estate industry’s prayers? It must be so, since the Denver Post announced in a giant headline: “Pot boom offsets real estate bust.” Voters first approved a medical marijuana amendment to the Colorado Constitution back in 2000, but the feds announced only recently that they wouldn’t prosecute medical users. In the meantime, some 13,000 people have gone on record as suffering from one or more of eight conditions that make the herb necessary for their health.

But even as dispensaries open daily in Denver and rural areas all over the state, another obvious need has been revealed, reports Westword, and that’s for reliable information on which weed variety to buy and where to get it. Westword editor Pat Calhoun tried to answer those questions by asking potential pot critics to write an essay describing “What marijuana means to me.” The first applicant replied within five minutes, which was “fast work for a stoner,” Calhoun noted. Other hopefuls rambled entertainingly, while one modestly ended his account of patronizing pot dispensaries this way: “If I have wasted your time, or you feel dumber for having read my essay, my apologies in advance. I was medicated.” Mainstream media found the hullabaloo hilarious and rushed to interview Calhoun about her search for a “qualified” medical marijuana critic. The Denver Post said she drew one conclusion: “The longer they used pot, the less they used punctuation.” No word yet on who got the job.